So help me, I am about at wit's end.
So, the girlfriend informs me that, perhaps, a couple we know may-or-may-not have been thinking of her moving in with them and all three of them raising a child together - birthed from my girlfriend, but not the male DNA from the guy, but also maybe not mine... maybe, I don't know - hearsay and all that, but this was the gist of the topic as I understood it not an hour ago.
As it may-or-may-not be surmised, I am at least loosely integrated into the fringes of what is known as the "kink community" i.e. the whole domination/submission, whips and chains, more "unique" perversions of the human condition. Now, for myself, I don't actually have much involvement (or interest, for that matter) in these proclivities, but the girlfriend does, and I like to facilitate her - whether that is intelligent is up for debate. So I give it a go about a year ago, and let me tell you: it has been one colossal, magnificent, undeniable cluster-fuck from Day One.
Okay, maybe that is a bit harsh. There were certainly some fun things we did, and I did get a roll in the hay with a few ladies here-and-there, but dammit, the stress and aggravation and misery that came as baggage were most certainly not in the fine print. And as a result, I have a sinking suspicion.
I am under the impression that the "kink community" (hereafter noted as KC), either in part or as a whole, is directly influenced by the psychological and emotional failings, defects, and proclivities of its participants. Now, before the torches are lit and the pitchforks raised, I must note I have no direct and substantiated evidence to support this claim. I am merely commenting on the behavior and interactions I have noted amongst individuals within a group, and compared those to individuals in separate, non-intermingling groups. And I know that eye-witness testimony is the least reliable, but then, this is not a court of law or an actual study, merely musings of one lone individual and his opinions, to be taken with a grain of salt and not to be used as an factual data unless otherwise expressly noted as such.
Ok, enough covering my own ass with the jargon. On to the ranting.
It is infuriating to the nth degree, it really is. Never before have I witnessed so much back-stabbing, double-speak, empty promises, and bold-faced lying outside of a political arena before the KC. Maybe it is naive of me to believe other groups are not just as dastardly or damaged, but I can surmise those groups at least hide the deception better than the KC, and are less proud when caught red-handed. I have heard an individual slander another for twenty minutes straight to a crowd of people, only to embrace said other when they joined the group. I have witnessed both men and women treat others as toys, telling them they are special and are loved, only to discard them without pity when something with greater luster walked by. And, as with the notion mentioned at the beginning of this entry, there are entire libraries-worth of dialogue that should concern one party that they are wholly excluded from.
Probably the worst part of all of this is that the KC needs one thing to survive, one thing to thrive. Lots of aspects can improve it, but one thing must be present or it will not function properly.
Trust.
And there is no rational reason to trust such a deceitful bunch. Would you honestly put your own safety, secrets, and sexuality in the hands of a group that behaves in such a way?
Worse yet, the individuals, when not being deceitful and distrusting, are usually spiraling into self-destructive behaviors and subscribing to the literal definition of "insanity" - "a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder" (none of that "repeating over-and-over" nonsense - that never was and never will be the definition of "insanity", just a cute quote attributed to Albert Einstein).
Again, I have witnessed symptoms of various mental defects, including but not limited to: bipolar disorder, Asperger's syndrome, schizophrenia, violent mood swings, kleptomania, Oedipus/Electra complex, clinical depression, suicide attempts, compulsive lying, delusions, hallucinations (obviously someone claiming something was there that was not, not that I witnessed a hallucination), and multiple different body-image and self-image disorders. It was almost like a living Psychology textbook moving about in the real world, each disease given form.
Some of these people only have mild issues, while others are merely a clinical diagnosis away from commitment into an institution. Even worse, most appear to simply wallow in their issues instead of seeking any clinical or pscyhological assistance to rectify or at least mitigate the problems. As a result, I have continuously distanced myself interacting with them on any real level. Of course, being interested in psychology, they are still fascinating to observe and study. Now, if I could only pull the girlfriend away from the unending steam of madness. But, if I cannot, and if push comes to shove, I will save my own sanity above all else, as I would expect anyone to do.
Only you can guarantee your safety and security are in your best interests. As such, you must take care of yourself before you can care for others, and you cannot trust that anyone else will look out for you until they have proven they are up to the task.
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