Holy fuck, it has been a while.
Now, I know no one has been reading this, so it's not like anyone was affected by the absence, but still, I like writing and it has been far too long since I wrote something. Anyway, enough pandering.
Okay, what to say about life since my birth month. Well:
- Work beat the ever-loving shit out of me until the end of 2013.
- I got a work physical stress-related injury during that time that set me out on disability.
- During my two month long disability, I was diagnosed with a bulging disc, meaning I can't stand for prolonged periods without exacerbating my disc and thereby causing pain that impairs movement.
- For the last three weeks of disability, I received no pay what-so-ever, and am still fighting to fix that.
- Came back to work at the start of this month, and thankfully have been transferred back to my original position at work, and it is looking hopeful for no restarting the injury.
- I got a couch. It's soft and comfy.
- NetFlix has bombarded me with MythBusters and Supernatural and countless other programs.
- I ate too much junk food while out on leave, and now I have to lose the spare tire.
I think that about covers it. Course, I also had a crazy ass dream last night, which is really the main reason for this post, as it got me thinking.
Long story short, in the dream, I got lost on some back-streets that snaked like a labyrinth (even cutting through houses), and wandered into a certain house full of cats and dogs. Once inside, the lady of the house woke up and saw me, and assumed I was a burglar despite my protests that I was hopelessly lost and trying to make it back to the street. As she called the cops on her cell phone (without getting out of her bedding, for some reason), I started crying and crouching down in a panic. At some point shortly following, my mind did that spasm-thing it does with my dreams where it shifts gears randomly, and I was now in a different room and felt someone to my left. I turned to look, and saw a young woman about my age (not the same woman from before - her daughter, my dream told me). However, the moment I saw her, I sheepishly turned away, blushing and bashful. When I turned back, she was smiling widely with enthusiastic delight at both my shyness and my obvious attraction to her. But it wasn't just her face that was beautiful, it was her eyes.
They were golden yellow.
Not solid golden, or glowing, but they were just normal human eyes with bright golden irises. It was mesmerizing and completely shocked me. My brain did me a solid and she and I had some sex then, and I proceeded to meet her family amid a big dinner they were throwing. Why a dinner and meet-the-family so quickly? See above, about random gear-shifting mind.
Anyway, I didn't write to recount a dream-bang, but to comment on the girl with the golden eyes, and specifically the feeling in the dream that occurred the moment I saw her face. It was such a feeling of complete joy and excitement, it was hard to believe it was a dream. I really hope I can experience that emotion in the waking world, because I cannot recall it ever happening. Sure, I am dating a girl, and I love her dearly, but it was a love fostered over a long period of time, and I didn't even meet her face-to-face until after we had been talking online and over-the-phone for a month.
But that overwhelming feeling in the dream wasn't love, or lust, or some weird misplaced puppy love. It was captivation. I long to feel that in the waking world, whether due to a beautiful landscape, an emotional song, or a breath-taking beauty. And if I was a believer in such things, I would probably search for the girl with the golden eyes in the real world until I found her to see if I could feel it again. Of course, I don't think dreams are real or omens of some sort. They are just the mind running wild during sleep.
But damn, if dreams were more, what I would do.
